COLD RAIN
by ButterflyMay
Summary: A chaos of jealousy starts in the hospital involving Nowaki , Hiroki and Senpai. Warning: yaoi
1. Silent Storm

I don't know what's gotten into me but I am just really addicted to write something angst and tragic. Though like always this story will also have a happy ending, but I am not certain how long will it take.

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Silent storm

Winter is cold but still either from experience or liking or loathing; I had gotten accustomed to its feeling. The moment the dried and old leaves start falling and create a road of red and yellow, I knew its time for the streets to get painted with a shade of blazing pink and a cold blanket of snow. But even from rare opportunities, the biting cold of winter with a deadly combination of rain had never been friendly to me. The raindrops drumming on the window glass and then dripping like a small river were getting irritating to my eyes, but I knew for sure if somehow the season changed and transformed into summer I would had loved its simple beauty. The fact that Nowaki was away from me was cold and the harsh truth that he left without informing me was like the bitter and sad rain.

I didn't know when the rain was going to stop and I also didn't know where Nowaki had gone to nor did I know when he was coming back. I felt disgust and anger flare in me but still my love for Nowaki cooled me down made me think twice before assuming anything drastic and tragic. I knew few of his friends including Senpai but even the thought of asking him about the where abouts of Nowaki made me suffer in sorrow or may be inferiority complex as Nowaki could never betray me but he had a disgusting way to surprise me many a times.

I didn't even know rather I lost track of the countless books I went through form the morning with a fading hope of finding relief, but it seemed the relief instead of reaching me was going further away. With every heartbeat I could feel myself weakening. Thought of a cold shower occurred to me for a momentary break though I was quite aware of the frosting cold. Thinking where else could Nowaki be except for the fucking hospital I lulled myself to sleep to the sound of the raindrops.

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An ear piercing and deep roar woke me up. Opening my eyes I saw that it had gotten darker and colder and the regular thunders were not at all suppressing the showers but were making the rain furious and dangerous. The patting sound of the rain had increased and I figured it was impossible for me to sleep. I even felt lethargic to make myself a coffee and drape my shivering body with a blanket. I refused to realize if subconsciously I was waiting for my lover to come and warm me up. I didn't notice when I closed my eyes but I felt my eyes trying hard to blink and my mind going blank.

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First thing I felt when my dormant brain became active from the sleep was a faint light behind my closed eyelids. Without opening my sleepy eyes, I tried to process about my surroundings. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes opened abruptly with a sharp jolt when the thoughts of Nowaki appeared. Sitting up I scanned the room for the tall and strong man. Disappointment drenched me when my hope of finding Nowaki shattered. I felt cold as there was no blanket draping my barely clothed body , I figured Nowaki had not retuned yet. Getting up I did the morning rituals of freshening up and checked all of Nowaki's possessions and as expected found them untouched, _just like me._

The rain had stopped but the Sun was still struggling to come out and the dark clouds were not even giving a rare chance for the Sun to peep out a little. Without even realizing I stood by the window confused and lost starring at the pink cherry blossoms and counting the falling leaves hopelessly to give myself a break. I averted my eyes when the color made my eyes painfully crinkled. The weather and the color was a total contrast, my aesthetic sense was irritated for my disgusting study of observation.

While making my breakfast I heard the raindrops pitter patter again. Whoever said that Nature has a great role on a person's mood and act was right. The fucking rain was the perfect ingredient for my depressions to worsen. After some debating with myself at the table, I finally left the food untouched. I had had cooked it to pass my time rather than to sate my unresponsive appetite. Turning on the television for yet another distraction from my overly anxious and angry brain, I flipped through the channels until it ended up in the news section.

'As you all can see the road is under construction and the thunder storms made it more dangerous.'

The reporter declared with a concerned expression representing clearly the seriousness of the situation. The road was in a mess and it seemed there was an accident the night before, the rain had been a trauma to others too then. A broken tree was crushing a car pathetically behind which several other cars were also suffering from severe damage. The road seemed familiar.

' There is one casualty and three people are injured , one of them is a young doctor…

My heart throbbed in my throat , it was the same road to Nowaki's hospital and a person was dead and a doctor was injured. Visions of Nowaki floated on my mind. Hurt. Injured. Blood……

No.

Without any delay I ran out through the door, the cold raindrops were like countless needles pricking my body through the thin material of my shirt. I was shivering but whether, if it was from the terrible cold I wasn't aware of. I knew it was foolish to run aimlessly to search for him , to think that it was Nowaki but I could not stop my feet running to the road a few blocks away from our apartment. I ran like a mad man wishing to see Nowaki safe but my mind was suspecting all the horrible consequences. My feet were getting numb and my head was spinning with an alarming buzz. The cold was unbearable. I wanted the black spots appearing frequently infront of my eyes to vanish. I didn't care if Nowaki would had gone to a damn brothel and any damn place I would not want him to go instead of heading towards that bloody road; right then I just wanted him to be safe. I should had called senpai when I couldn't reach Nowaki's phone forgetting all my ego , it would had been better to see Nowaki alright than to disgrace my already bruised ego and broken soul. I knew I was tired of rationalizing my intuitions but still those were the only consolations and strength for my body to keep moving without breaking down altogether.

_Nowaki I love you please don't leave me……._

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Should I continue?


	2. Silent Drizzle

I found out something about ffnet which I think is very convenient for all the writers. Here you don't have to write that disclaimer thing so those who tends to write it can work less

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Silent Drizzle

Closing the door of the room where an injured Senpai with an injured leg and a broken hand was dwelling, I decided to head for home. The night before was horrible, I saw Senpai getting hurt by a dashing car when he and I were going to my apartment. If I were not careful enough to pull him away he would have broken every bone in his body. It was late so I suggested him to come with me and we were also both tired from the enormous amount of work. Besides we guessed the thunder shower was inhumanly dangerous. Unfortunately the kind offer had led to an unfortunate accident. It had been three days I hadn't seen Hirosan and forty hours since I talked to him. Even the phone was opposing every possibility of getting touch with my Hirosan. But even if all the forces were against me keeping myself away from Hirosan I would never let them get to me.

Heading out I pulled my coat tighter around me. The weather was cold and the rain added to its dominance. One of the nurses was very kind to give me her umbrella which I thought was the only good thing till then. I passed the area where the terrible accident took place and saw all the police and the reporters still crowding the area. All the injured people were hospitalized in my hospital and I felt very sorry for the young boy who died last night. He was very young probably a high school student. The street was empty, probably abandoned due to the accident and the rain. I saw my footsteps painting the snow clad road while thinking about Hirosan. A shadowy and barely clothed figure came to my vision, the man was approaching me at a very rapid speed, was he running in only a shirt in this freezing weather? Was he trying to commit suicide or something? But when his face became visible clearly to me, I felt my heart beat at such a rapid speed that I was sure it would burst out any moment.

Hirosan? No

I rushed towards him and saw my Hirosan cold and shivering, trying hard to run as fast as he could but failing miserably and inevitably. His face was pale , lips white with a faint shade of violet, he was drenched like a cat, his breathing was fast like he was having hypoxia and his eyes were red and puffy almost on the verge of tears. What happened?

'Hirosan , Hirosan , Hirosan……'

I kept on calling his name while nearing towards him. I needed to know that he was ok, that he was my Hirosan, I wanted to know it was a nightmare and I would wake up soon. Hirosan looked at me and a wave of satisfaction and happiness washed over his dry face. He smiled holding out his hand towards me which I took immediately. I pulled him towards my chest wrapping my arms around him trying to give him as much body heat as I could. I had seen the children smile many a times after getting what they had wanted by immense persuasion and I felt Hirosan had the same childish smile glued to his lips. I took his hand and intertwined our fingers.

'Hirosan what happened? Why are you-

'Nowaki are you ok?'

His voice was shaking and his teeth were clattering , I held him tighter, squeezing his shivering body.

'Off coarse I am ok Hirosan, but what happened-

'ah'

Before I could ask him anything he closed him eyes.

'Hirosan Hirosan'

I shook him many times but figured he had already fainted from exhaustion and cold. Opening my coat, I draped it over him. Picking him up on my back I went to the hospital instead of our home. Many questions were clouding my head but I knew none of them would have their answer right then. I was confused between sorrow and happiness. I knew Hirosan loved me but I never had thought that he would come looking for me without caring about him all worried and panicked. How much did he love me? Was it even comparable to the amount of love I love him? But instead of returning the same love to him , I made him run in the rain when it was winter. I made him feel cold and deserted. I am pathetic even if I tried my best I would never be as great as Hirosan. He would always be ahead of me.. Blinking away my unshed tears , I carried my sleeping Hirosan to the hospital , wishing that he was alright.

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I found some one holding my hand when I became conscious. Without opening my eyes I traced my thumb lightly over the exposed warm flesh.

'Hirosan are you awake?'

The voice confirmed me it was Nowaki. My eyes fluttered slowly giving Nowaki his answer. He leaned on my chest nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck.

'Hirosan I am so sorry. You were worried so much and now you are sick. I tried to call you but the phone was not getting through. I couldn't leave the injured people at the hospital too. I am so sorry Hirosan.'

I felt Nowaki shake and tremble with every words he spoke, I knew he wasn't crying but was trying his best not to. I was angry at him, angry for leaving me and making me worry but I couldn't express that anguish emotion to him. Strange but I was happy , happy to have him again. He was still blubbering about being sorry so I opened my mouth to shut him. I felt my throat hurt and chocked and the words came out incoherent and incomprehensible.

'Hirosan?'

Touching my throat slightly with my fingers, I started to get up. While getting up I realized every muscle of my body cramping in sheer pain, if Nowaki wasn't been there to assist me I would had scream out and give up. Still a throaty gasp escaped from my lips and my face crinkled in utter disgust.

'Hirosan you should not get up now, take some rest please Hirosan.'

I was practically crawling into Nowaki's lap, but I refused to think it was me who was craving it. Taking an empty guzzle which obviously hurt my sore throat, I tried to talk clearly.

'Water'

'Of coarse Hirosan'

Talking one arm off my shoulder Nowaki gave me the glass, every drink was a sarcastic torment to my poor throat, but still I drank till the thirst subsided. My head was still aching blurring my vision and senses and soon sleep took over me. And all the time Nowaki was holding my hand and patting my hair gently. Before I closed my eyes I felt something warm and wet touch my forehead and whisper "I love you" and I was sure the little smile on my lips didn't escape Nowaki's eyes.

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Next chapter will a war of jealousy between Senpai, Nowaki and Hiroki. I can add other characters to create some chaos. I don't know when I will publish but I will ( I have many exams and other things too keeping aside my aching head and terrible cold).

Hey review , SO many hits and alerts why don't you review? Huh?


	3. Silent Pour

warning : yaoi , NowakixHiroki (intentionally) and slight HirokixSenpai (unintentionally)

Silent pour

I had never been to a hospital as a patient but it seemed nothing different to me as I hardly had any injury except for my terrible cold, burning fever and aching body. It was peaceful and lonely. I didn't know how long I was asleep but from the empty seat beside me I knew Nowaki was away to attend his patients unless he was at home. I stayed like that for some time thinking about how long I was going to stay there. The inclination of professor Miyagi shirking all the works and spending most of his time either thinking about or doing things with the dean's son would probably result into an avalanche of works. Breaking my straining thoughts, a nurse clad in pink outfit and long brown hair carrying a pen and a notebook entered the room.

'Hello Kamijou-san how are you feeling now?'

I guessed either she was unknown of my sore throat or a ludicrously stupid lady to query me when it was taking all my strength and will power even to drink a drop of water. Ignoring her question I glared at her intensely which obviously scared her. Skipping all the sweet talks she started to tell me about the medicines. She did all the things she had to do in my room with utter haste and I was quite satisfied with my perfected art of glaring.

'If you need anything else please press the bell on the table beside you, I will be visiting again one hour later to give you the medicines'

I knew speaking was nothing but a self torture but still I was getting impatient with Nowaki's disappearance.

'Do you know –

Even though I tried, still my voice got thin like a kitten and discontinued at the next words which obviously made the nurse giggle like an annoying school girl. Did she laugh at me?

'If you don't mind I can lend you a paper to write it down'

Did she just mock me because I wasn't able to talk? How dare that bitch insulting a sick patient, she got no manners at all. Talking a strong gulp and earning a sharp pain like a reflex, I looked at her all determined, trying my best to express all the anger in me.

'Where is Dr. Kusama?'

'Oh he is checking Dr. Senpai , he is just next room to you.'

' Senpai?'

I was shocked to hear his name so without thinking twice I nearly screamed out making my buzzing headache and my already broken throat worse. The nurse rushed to me and slowly balancing my back raised me up a bit. She handed me the glass of water with an unusual gentleness. I drank it as long as my throat allowed the cool water to pass through.

' Kamijou san you shouldn't scream like that , has given us strict instructions to watch over you when he is not around so please stay calm.'

I heard her wide eyed. Did Nowaki already declare our relationship to everyone? How embarrassing.

' Senpai was injured at the incident so brought him at the hospital along with the other injured people, and the morning after he brought you, he was sitting beside you all the time when he was free, are you someone-

I knew she was going to ask about our relationship, I was happy it was still hidden and had no intention of revealing it. As my voice was deceiving me, I had no choice other than physical action. I placed my finger on his lips motioning her to stop talking. In spite of my expression being frustrated and my eyes being emotionless she blushed at my actions.

'Call Kusama sensei'

Removing my fingers I practically whispered to her.

'Yes, of course.'

Strange but while she left I saw her wink back at me. Was I hallucinating?

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I didn't remember much about waking up, but I had my lunch alone after the nurse requested me to finish the awful tasting soup. It was a miracle that I was able to eat more than half of it. Though my stomach was empty still I was more than happy to go on fasting. I asked the nurse when was Nowaki going to visit and was a little disheartened when I heard he had visited me and didn't wake up me as I was sleeping soundly.

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A warm and feather like gentle touch on my forehead woke me up. Opening my eyes, I saw the person I wanted to see for a long time then. Nowaki smiled at me and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on my dry lips. Pouting a little he looked at me. I was confused at his act and raised my left eyebrow to convey my uncertainty. Smiling innocently as always he leaned down again and slowly licked my lips till they turned wet and slippery. I knew my eyes had turned triple its usual size and my nails were digging at the bed sheet but still I couldn't figure out the reason for his odd act. Sensing my curiosity Nowaki sat up and spoke.

'Your lips were very dry Hiro-san.'

I should had known that his reasons were as foolish and embarrassing as ever.

'I am sorry Hiro-san, I was so irresponsible.'

Lowering his eyes, he apologized and I knew he meant it. Gathering all my determination I pulled him closer to my lips.

'Sometimes irresponsibility is terribly inviting'

'Hirosan I-

It had been long since I kissed him so I did what my body told me to. Pressing my lips to his, I initiated the kiss but it was Nowaki who progressed and ended the kiss when my sick lung didn't last any further. Somehow during the passionate action, Nowaki had ended up crawling over me. His hands were already beneath my shirt tracing over my abdomen.

'Hiro-san I love you.'

Did he have any idea what he was doing to me? It was hard enough for me to speak and he was not cooperating to stop me from moaning out loud. But his piercing gaze and the sultry lust in his touches were too hard me to resist. Kissing my neck with sloppy and wet kisses he slowly made his place under my blanket.

'Hiro-san I have grown so impatient looking at you for the last two days, everytime I kissed your dormant lips I wished so much that you will return it too.'

What? He had been kissing me that entire time sitting beside me? Not that I was complaining but a word called 'embarrassment' did exist. Did he miss me that much? And when was my voice when I needed it the most? I lifted my fingers to his lips and traced the outlines of those rosy and swollen panting lips. A happy smile appeared on his face and he pressed his body firmly against me. His erect libido was pocking into my thighs which made me think about the outcome of all those foreplay. Was my throat and health good enough to take what Nowaki was willing to give? Hell I didn't even know if the bed was strong enough to last. I wished earnestly for the room to be sound proof. Nowaki's hand was dangerously close to the waistband of my sweat pant and the other was gently grazing my left nipple. His lips were occupied tasting the heated skin of my collarbone. I was sick like I never had been and even the best classical Japanese literature wasn't going to interest me. But still every touch and lick of Nowaki's on my body evoked something blazing inside me. Everything was out of my control, was it something that I had craved for right from when the terrible rain started? And then when I was actually having it, I was happy and willing.

Without any warning Nowaki slipped his hands under my pants and stroked the licking penis.

'ah'

I was stuck between pleasure and risking my chastity. My throat was too sensitive to voice my sensations.

'shhh Hiro-san'

I glared at Nowaki. That bastard, playing with my body when I was sick to my bones and silencing me like a kid. His pure smile deepened my anger and I clawed on his exposed neck.

'Ouch Hiro-san'

I smirked at his response. It was the exact expected one. I felt that indeed action was powerful than words and forgetting all my ailments I gathered all my concentrations on pursuing the activity. Stroking one more time on my rapidly hardening cock and kissing my lips, Nowaki withdrew his hands and started to get off me. Was he testing me? Or the hardness that I felt on him was something else, might be his cell phone? I stared dumbfounded at him. Before he got of the bed I caught his wrist and glared at him with questioning eyes.

'Hirosan?'

'Why?' Shit. Did my voice sounded like I was begging?

'You are sick Hiro-san and your throat is not well too, I really don't want to impose my needs on you.'

What was he talking about? Making me all aroused and horny and leaving just because I was sick. Was he teasing me? I had enough. Without caring how much my throat was going to hurt or how pathetic I was going to sound, I pulled him closer and spoke with eerie seriousness

'Don't spark a fire and leave it blazing. Satisfy me.'

I didn't understand how I became so naïve and needy but there were many things that Nowaki often made me to do and somehow they always earned good results. Nowaki returned to his previous position with a dazzling smile and started kissing me. His lips were cool and wet against my pale and dry ones. I didn't know what he was feeling but to me it was the first comforting feeling after so many days, I had wished so much to get to him and every time I thought of it I didn't know how, I wanted Nowaki to call me so that I could trace him back.

His lips continued planting liquid and devouring kisses all over me, the only thing I felt was his large cold hands and sunny lips all over my feverish and burning skin. I felt all my blood creeping to my face and to my throbbing penis. I was finding it hard to keep my eyes open, and the suction on the patch of skin below my navel created by Nowaki's mouth was unbearable. Nowaki was under the blanket worshipping the nether regions of my body and I wondered how much he was able to breathe there while I gasped for some air to fill my rapidly emptying lungs. He pulled down my pants and came up to give a hungry kiss to my lips.

'Hiro-san , I will try my best to pleasure you without any causing any trouble to your weak body'

He was really an idiot. Even when his hardness was completely digging into my stomach and I could feel the slight wetness drenching both of our pants, he was trying not to cause trouble. Yes, of course it was hard for me, but I really wanted to ease the aching need in me.

'Hiro-san please turn your back at me and move closer to me.'

I did as he said though it was not in my nature to cuddle, even when the person was the one whom I love and who was liked by everyone not to mention Nowaki's unique dazzling smile. But apparently he was not satisfied by my cuddling and pulled me so close to him that I was having a hard time to figure out if we were two separate beings. His hot breathe was ghosting on the back of my neck and his tongue was plunging into into my ear. Snaking his arm around me he took hold of my penis and started stroking it. His other hand was busy playing with my nipple. I was getting weak and helpless to his loving and my body pushed backed on him on its own accord. I could feel Nowaki rub and grind against my back trying to alleviate some of his libido. Looking down, I saw his hands jerking me with a lightening speed, it didn't take long for the tingle to start at the base of my penis. I could Nowaki's cum on my bare back through the garment of his pants. Tilting my head a bit Nowaki captured my lips, it was hard to have a proper kiss so we just concentrated to entangle our tongue and taste each other. Nowaki moved his hand which was teasing my nipple and unzipped his pants. I moaned out sensing his throbbing and dangerously licking cock pressing on my bum. Breaking our lip lock Nowaki began to suck my earlobe and gripped me tighter around my shoulder. Nowaki's grinding became demanding and his thrusts became sharper, I knew from the enormous flow of his semen he was close and so was I.

'Hiro-san I love you so much'

He whispered between his laboured breathings. I was caught between pushing back on him and thrusting further in to his hands. I opened my eyes and the view of his large hand milking me faster and harder and the feeling of his hard shaft spasming and thrusting on my back took me over the edge. I orgasmed, locking my hips forward. Nowaki's thrusting became irregular and he pushed up tight against me.

'Nnnngghh' Nowaki groaned pressing his face on my back. He came coating my back with his warm and sticky seeds.

We stayed like that, entangled in a mess of arms and legs. I was already frail and the unexpected orgasm was making me feel slow witted. I fought for sometime to stay awake and relish the afterglow but my body didn't support my will. Wrapped in a cocoon of Nowaki I closed my eyes.

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It was already two days in the hospital and I was recovering well. Apart from the cold and occasional fever, I was fine. I decided to talk to Nowaki about going home. I was glad that Nowaki personally informed the Professor about my ill health and who visited on that very day permitting me a leave for a week. But still I knew I was going to drown in a sea of pending works when I would start working, so it would be better if I insisted the Professor to help him from my home.

Nowaki was a little hesitant at first as he wouldn't be able to look after me all day like he was in the hospital, keeping aside his nightly visits but in the end he understood. I was at last glad to get out of the irritating room which was occasionally visited by giggling and blushing nurse aided by my hungry lover camouflaging as a doctor.

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'Hiro-san I have packed all your clothes and belongings, let's go and visit Senpai now.'

I was ready to go home but considered visiting Nowaki's senior Senpai who was healing next room from his injured hand and leg. We went together to his room and from Senpai's expression I predicted he was not expecting me as a visitor.

'Good morning Senpai'

'Good morning Nowaki and Nowaki's Hiro-san'

Was he an inborn nuisance? I knew Nowaki told him about us but was there any need to say it aloud.

'My name is Hiroki Kamijou.'

'I know that but you are more familiar by that identity to me, besides I have been hearing someone moan out Nowaki's name for the last few days'

What ? did he hear us when we were having sex? I looked at Nowaki who silently checking Senpai's medicines very unaffected by those words. How I wished to punch the devil's injured leg and break it altogether.

'See you are blushing Nowaki's Hirosan'

'Senpai please stop teasing Hirosan'

Teasing? He was harassing me.

'Hirosan I am sorry. Senpai please apologize to Hirosan'

'ok ok I am sorry Kamijou sensei, but you should also apologize to me. I was truly tormented by your activities at night.'

Just a sorry ? he needed to be beaten. And it was not our problem that he was disturbed by our voices, he was the one to stay awake and eavesdropping like a pervert.

'ahh sorry Senpai may be we were a little loud.'

I was regretting coming to visit him out of decency and humanity. I should had left.

'I hope you will get well soon Senpai' I blurted out without hiding the piercing venom in the words. 'Thank you for tolerating our love sessions'

'You are most welcome Kamijou sensei'

A knock on the door broke the thick air around us. A nurse came in to tell Nowaki that he was urgently called at the emergency room. Nowaki rushed out telling me to sit at Senpai's room. Though I was more than frustrated, I had to obey him. Finding no other choice I took a seat at the chair beside the window.

'So you are heading home today Kamijou-sensei?'

Did he have to talk? Couldn't he just lay back and enjoy his injury?

'yes'

'hmm I guess then Nowaki will now be free and give all his attention to me.'

I felt a vein throb at his daring words. Sending a deathly glare towards him, I spoke out.

'Did you say_ all his _attention? That's quite an impossible dream.'

'Dream? Impossible? Nowaki has been helping to do all the tasks –

'Shut up and take a nap' I told him with a nonchalance attitude.

There was a long time silence until Senpai pressed the bell to call a nurse. But unfortunately no one appeared even on the second time.

'hey Kamijou sensei.'

Was his guy created only to disturb me? Staring out of the window and looking at the cherry blossoms I responded bitterly.

'What?'

'Can you help me to go to the bathroom?'

'Wait a bit the nurse will come soon'

'I have been waiting for fifteen minutes and I think the emergency case is quite serious so they will be late. It's really urgent.'

Was this guy trying to make me work for him just because he was injured? Asking a guy whom he had been teasing a while ago to help him to the bathroom? He was a shameless idiot.

'please Kamijou sensei my bladder will burst out any time soon.'

I didn't have any choice, I had to surrender. Getting up I helped Senpai to step out fo the bed. He placed his injured arm around my shoulder for balancing his injured leg and I supported his weight by holding him by his chest from the back, he was practically hanging on me. Senpai was tall like Nowaki and the heavy weight was not very comfortable for me as I was still recovering. We padded slowly towards the bathroom. I was already having a bad feeling as I was wondering if I had to stand by Senpai while he peed. The hospital had one of those western type toilet, raised up on the floor, which made things easier in a painful sort of way. I helped Senpai to lean his head against the cold tile walls and he let his arm rest of the porcelain back. Without any warning he started fumbling at getting his pants down.

'hey what are you doing ? let me go out, I don't want to see you pee'

'But I can't do it on my own Kamijou-sensei'

'Yes you can.'

After he had comfortably and safely positioned himself against the wall I walked out and stood outside the door. My heart was still beating fast at the idea of watching Senpai's penis while he peed to his heart's content. I could hear the soft rustling of clothes and the sound of flushing the toilet. I waited for Senpai to call out for me but instead came a loud scream of sheering pain. Without thinking twice I opened the door and hurried to see him, I knew it was hard to do anything with injured anatomy. What I saw made me blush a thousand shades of red. Senpai was sprawled on the floor with his pants pooled around his ankles. He was naked from his waist onwards exposing well built legs , thighs and hanging penis. I stared at the vulnerable scenario and after digesting the initial shock, I averted my eyes. I tried to think of so many things apart from male anatomy and Senpai but every attempt was brutally rejected.

'hey help me out instead of standing there and blushing like a petite girl.'

Help him out, how? And wasn't there any underwear to wear inside? Was all the embarrassing situation stored for me? I seriously regretted my decision of coming there. Swallowing the lump stuck in my throat I proceeded towards him keeping my view away from his lower region.

'Hey you can look you know'

'SHUT UP'

I felt my ears burning and my pulse increasing rhythmically. I bend down with the purpose of hoisting Senpai up. Sitting on my knees, I took Senpai's uninjured arm and started pulling him up.

'hey pull up my pants its cold staying half naked.'

Did he have to say that aloud? I was having hard time here and instead of helping me he was worsening the already fucked up situation. I glared at him stating to stay quiet. After much perseverance we somehow managed to stand up though it was interrupted by the noisy whimpering of Senpai. Senpai was standing with his back on the bathroom tiles with his arms holding me tightly around my shoulder, while my arms were around his waist.

'Now will you please pull up my pants or is it you want to see me like this?'

Getting angry at his offending comment I snapped back at him.

'Stay still and I have no interest in you.'

I knew to dress him up; I had to go down on him, which would look like a very awkward position. I didn't recall getting down on Nowaki ever. I felt angry but knew that nothing could be done; it was too late to call for help. The only way to get out of this mess was to finish the job as quick as possible, besides I was an adult and helping people was one of the many things I had been taught during my childhood.

Sitting on my knees I went down in front of Senpai to pick up the pants still gathered around his ankles. Just when I was going to do it, a firm but familiar voice startled me.

'Hiro-san, what are you doing?'

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I was typing and typing and typing and typing ……………

Should I change the rating to M?? God am I never going to have a T or K rated story?

Anyways do me a favor go to my profile and please vote.

who wants the next chapter?


	4. Thundering Rain

Some one reviewed that Senpai is not the "actual" name of Senpai but I really don't know anything about his real name so if anyone knows inform me. Beside that I have replied to everyone and I hope they got their answer.

This story was quite unexpected as I had to think pretty hard about everyone plot (especially this chapter) so I am getting surprised with every chapter……

Are you too? I know you too lazy to type and waste your precious ATPs... Good choice.

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Thundering rain

I had been in many situations where I never wanted to be in the first place and I had handled most of them very wonderfully. But what was I to do if I saw my lover kneeling infront of a man who was exposing his well build penis a few inches away from my lover's face. How would have I reacted if I caught them red handed in that very sexually intimate position in a bathroom? But it was not me; it was about Nowaki's reaction. Thinking about nothing and trying to calm my sudden rush of adrenaline, I stayed speechless and stunned but after a momentary relax I stood up and spoke up to prove my innocence.

'Nowaki it is no-

I saw Nowaki rushing towards us. His eyes radiating its rage vividly making him look like an excited wild and fierce beast. His gaze was glued on Senpai and from the momentum of his footsteps; I knew he was going to hit Senpai breaking whatever unbroken bones he was left with. As a reflex to save the innocent, I positioned myself before Senpai with an urgent purpose of shielding Senpai and stopping Nowaki from evoking to physical action without hearing the truth. But before my plan of saving Senpai could work, something happened which made me realize that I was so wrong from the beginning, I was protecting my eradicator.

The hand of Senpai which was holding me by my shoulder for support, wrapped around my mid chest as I swirled around and a huge body hugged me form behind. My eyes instantly widened at the feel of something thick and hard pressing on my back. A wet and warm tongue licked at my left ear and cooed sensuously.

'What do you think we should be doing Nowaki?'

Nowaki's eyes glowed with a burning anguish; his chest heaved up and down making me tense and scared for the final outcome of those hazards.

'STOP, HIRO-SAN IS MINE'

Nowaki yelled and gripped my wrist and pulled me away form the unwanted embrace with such a brutal force that compelled Senpai to let go of me and fall hard on his side with a loud thud followed by a painful howl. I took a few seconds to process what was happening and felt stupid and angry for being such a fucking dumbass. First thing which I wanted to do was to hit Senpai hard for behaving like I was cheating on Nowaki right infront of him. So I did what I wanted to do unhesitantly and kicked with my leg as hard as I could, aiming at Senpai revealing penis. The ear piercing agonizing scream of Senapi was like a satiating music to my ears.

'DON'T FUCK WITH ME, YOU BASTARD.'

I protested out loud not caring if the whole hospital would hear my voice. I saw Nowaki cool down slightly but was panicked when I heard a worrying female voice.

'What is happening here?'

I felt Nowaki stiffen and Senpai face turned dull with horror. I was terrified too but Nowaki handled the situation rushing towards the bathroom door and making a polite face. He informed the nurse that everything was fine. But the annoying nurse kept on insisting to know more which made me appear and make a firm announcement that we were dealing with Senpai helping him to pee. My glare and angry aura scared her away and I was relieved to make things under control.

I looked back at the same embarrassing and painfully twisted state of Senpai. I had never seen a man wearing such a tortured and constricted expression, it should had hurt and it was only fair to hurt. Then I looked at Nowaki whose face was shrouded with a mysterious emotion. It was not anger, it was not rejection, it was unreadable and it was _unbearable_.

I was puzzled, I was scared. Afraid to loss, afraid to get misunderstood. I was breaking, growing weak and shattered thinking of what was I supposed to do. Was telling the truth going to work? Would it sound like a lame excuse? How much did I hurt Nowaki by my unreasonable act?

It was too much for me. So many questions clouded my mind begging to receive an answer. I stared at Nowaki and felt nothing promising in me to face that alien emotion bottled up in Nowaki. So turning back I ran, I ran avoiding the familiar needy sound of Nowaki calling me, his usual voice calling out 'Hirosan' to stop. I ran and ran not knowing where I was heading to, not caring what every sane person thought about, not caring about anything but to seek release. To escape from every suspicion, to escape from all sorrow, to escape from all embarrassment. I saw the stairs running down and I took the stairs without even remembering if an easy transport called 'lift' existed. I knew I was still sick and my poor body would collapse soon if I continued this madness but still I could not stop myself.

'HIROSAN LOOK OUT'

I didn't know what happened but my feet fell on something slippery and I wobbled, falling forward losing my balance. I hit the ground hard and my head collided with something making me scream out in sheering pain. Something cold and tingling dripped down my head and touching it, I saw blood. Someone came and pulled me in his arms covering my head and pressing the injury with his hand. It was hurting but still my voice gave up on me and my vision want blank. I heard Nowaki chant my name repeatedly before I collapsed and drowned in darkness.

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Go and visit my profile and vote.

Do I sound like a politician?

Who wants the next chapter? Is it any good?


	5. Traces Of Black Clouds

Thank you for the reviews, favorites, alerts and hits and I am so sorry I couldn't reply to any one, believe me I am busy these days wishing for me every day will of 48 hours, but I am not God nor the best friend of Time. And over that I spend too much money on my hobbies (books, canvas, repairing of Guiter and some medical instruments have become so expensive….) and now my dad is little offended and will be more next month (yes I should be happy that it was not my money but he is my papa but I love him for that though we hardly talk).

One of the very kind and knowledgeable reviewers Mizu-tenshi (I hope I wrote it right and thank you for the info and opinion) told me Senpai's name is Tsumori so in the 3rd chapter imagine as and then read. I apologize for my lack of knowledge, so forgive and smile.

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Traces of black clouds

Someone warm. So warm that the pain drumming in my head was fading away and the sharp prick on the upper side of my left palm was subsiding. I wanted to see where I was and what was I doing. The familiar typical smell of medicine triggered the notion that it was probably a hospital but the anxiety if Nowaki was the one curing me, wanted to make me open my eyes. But every time I tried to do it, I felt something pull me back, something that was scared to loss Nowaki, to face Nowaki. I figured out after a while that it dwelt in my chest, it was my_ heart._

'Hirosan'

My heartbeat pounded in my ear and my breath caught in my throat when I heard Nowaki call my name. Did he find out that I was awake? What was I going to say to him? I was happy to have him by my side but I was unprepared. But his tone was not like a call, it was deeper, like he was lamenting.

A pair of warm lips touched the right side of my forehead. A warm breathe blew over my face. A solitary drop of tepid liquid dropped on my cheek and after a clever analysis I realized it was a tear. Nowaki was _crying_. Instantly I felt something tear me apart, such pain was alien to me and it was very difficult for me to stop myself from sobbing out. One part of me was begging to ask Nowaki about the cause for those tears and the other was crouching in fear. I knew I didn't do anything wrong to feel guilty but I couldn't stop myself from thinking that what had I done to deserve this yearning pure love of Nowaki. The coward in me won and I stayed still like a rock.

Did I love him the same way? If I were in his place, I would had left him at the very moment I saw him with another man like that. I would had slapped him, beat him and make him cry and repent for his deed. I always had considered myself the matured one in our relationship and always had tried to behave like a calm and composed adult. But whenever things were going against me and I was faced with the dilemma of losing Nowaki I always had lost control over my actions. All those time, I was so confused with my own thoughts and puzzled to comprehend what exactly I wanted. The harsh truth was that every time it was Nowaki who made me realize that missing part in me, he was the one who always fulfilled the essential things in my life. He gave me love, he loved me unconditionally compelling me to love him back.

All those time he was telling me that he couldn't catch up with me, I was always ahead of him and he was scared that I would leave him behind. But I realized Nowaki didn't only catch up with me but also _exceeded_ me. He became so wonderful and strong, so confident in his devotion towards me that he didn't lose his faith on me. Even after he was stabbed brutally to see me with another man, he didn't or rather he couldn't think once that I was cheating on him. He meant every promise he always vowed to me, he always stood by me even when I didn't do the same. He was so mature and tough. He was better than me in so many ways.

_He deserved someone better than me_

My eyes opened instantly and fresh bottled up tears rolled down from them shattering all my tough camouflage.

'Hiro-san, where are you…. Is it hurting Hiro-san?'

I was too scared to look into Nowaki's eyes so I moved my head away from him and moaned in pain when the side of my forehead connected with the soft pillow beneath.

'Hirosan don't move'

Nowaki leaned down on me holding my shoulder to stay straight. For a moment our eyes met and I averted my eyes immediately. I couldn't sense his expression properly as my vision was blurred for the drying tears. Nowaki relaxed after making me comfortable. His hand on shoulder moved towards my left cheek.

'Is it hurting too much Hiro-san?'

Yeah, it was hurting too much but it was not the pain that Nowaki was talking about. It was deeper and complex. It was more sensitive. I realized the left side of my head was injured and it was my corner of my forehead that was bleeding earlier. My left leg was bandaged but it was not hurting much and I was able to move my feet so I figured it was just a sprain. The stinging sensation on my left hand was from the channel created due to the dip that I was given.

'A little.'

There was an awkward pause between us as we both tried to speak something which wouldn't remind us about the previous incidents. I was ashamed for my actions and no words were justified to be spoken by me but what was with Nowaki? He was not wrong and I knew there were so many questions he should had asked me. Was I so bad that he thought that asking me any question would annoy me and I would start bickering with him about he should not mistrust me. I was such a pathetic lover.

_I didn't deserve to be loved by him_

Shit. I was crying again and this time my body was shaking due to the intense emotion.

'Hiro-san, why are you crying? Please tell me. Is it for what happened before? Please don't cry Hiro-san.'

Nowaki pleaded to me, his voice was heavy and it was full of passion and worry. His hands were holding my cheeks and his fingers were erasing the tears before it could drip down from my eyes. His face was very close to me, I could feel his warm and rapid breaths worshipping my lips. It was so nice to think that we were breathing the same air, how nice to think our breaths were mingling with each other like they were insessible.

'Nowaki leave me alone for some time.'

His caresses stopped and I felt the warmth of his breath disappearing for a moment though he was at the same closeness with me.

'But Hiro-san-

I didn't realize my eyes were closed the entire time but then when I opened them I knew they didn't dare to look at Nowaki. Nowaki was too shining and superior for them. My eyes probably looked helpless, weak and gloomy but still I looked straight into Nowaki's eyes.

'Please Nowaki leave.'

His eyes widened. He looked shocked and disarrayed but did what I said. I didn't look at him while he left but the sound of his footsteps told me he was leaving against his will. When I heard the door close, I couldn't hold on any more. Countless tears flowed from my eyes and over my face making me feel dizzy and sick. When did I become so weak? When did I become so dependent? When did I become so low to ask for so many things from Nowaki, those things which I never showed to him for once, was I always this selfish from the start? Still if I left Nowaki for his own good, would I be able to go on? I would only hold him back from what Nowaki rightly deserved and from where he truly belonged. I would only be a burden on him, a miserable excuse and obstruction for his progress in life. But Nowaki was all I had, was it possible for me to let him go? Would I be lost without him, lost in a maze of eternal darkness…….

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'Senpai how are you feeling now?'

'Much better, how is your Hirosan?'

'He .. he is .. he waked up from his sleep and is healing too.'

Nowaki's face darkened, his jaws clenched and his gaze swelled with sundry emotion while he spoke.

'Did something happen between you two?'

'huh? No nothing much.'

A thoughtful silence prevailed as Senpai composed himself to speak the right words as he was worried for Nowaki. Nowaki was always cheerful and even during the days of thunder he kept his smile decorating his lips whenever he spoke. But he was not his usual self that day. He seemed lost and broken even when he was talking with the children. So Senpai decided to handle things sensibly.

'Nowaki, was Hiroki angry about earlier, for what I did?'

'I don't know, He didn't speak to me much.'

'Why didn't you ask him?'

'He wanted me to leave and I knew he was sad as he was crying.'

The words came out of Nowaki's mouth as a chocked sob. Senpai knew Hiroki was a very serious man and tolerating a sexual prank was not his cup of tea but he reconsidered his actions to be just as a joke when he saw Nowaki cry silently even infront of him. To see a man cry was an unusual sight and a man like Nowaki crying was even a more astounding but eventful sight. Senpai was finding it hard to restrain himself from asking Nowaki that if his love for Hiroki was so strong to make him cry in public? But instead he asked something different.

'Nowaki you love Hiroki so much, what did he do to make you cry like this?'

Hearing this Nowaki exploded into loud protestations.

'No Hiro-san didn't do anything Senpai, I am just feeling so guilty for everything, Hirosan got sick because of me and if I would have stopped him that time then he would not had to go through all this. I could not protect my Hiro-san..'

Nowaki's lively but then dull eyes hidden by blackish blue bangs were overflowing with endless tears and his voice was shaky. His fists were clenched at both sides of his hips, his jaw was stiff and his lips were trembling in fury. Senpai became a little scared to say anymore but still couldn't control his urge to make Nowaki free from the burden of guilt.

'Stop talking gibberish, we both know that it wasn't anyone's fault for what happened. Rather I would say Hiroki is over reacting. It was you who was miraculously saved from a terrible accident, who saw us like that and who is taking care of Hiroki when he is sick, and you are feeling guilty? for what? For loving Hirosan head over heels?'

Nowaki was silent then and his tears stopped slowly after hearing Senpai as his mind was thinking rationally overpowering his emotion driven heart. But still his pragmatic mind couldn't console his sole; he remained the quite and gloomy self only not accompanied by tears. Without answering back anything to Senpai, he did what he had to do.

'I will visit you later Senpai.'

Senpai saw Nowaki retreat crumbled and lost yet faking an artificial expression, wondering how far this would roll and what would he have to do to make it thrilling and entertaining.

* * *

I don't know how long this story will be but I will finish it as I never leave things unfinished and always make a happy ending. Though I am little confused about Senpai's actual intention so I don't know what kind of catalyst he will be in Egoist love reaction.

Anyways I am telling you again. VOTE and if your fingers are free and healthy and the letter are dying to be typed review..

And if you can, listen to the song "better than me" by Hinder, no it's not a songfic but I wrote this chapter listening to the song and it helped.


	6. Silent Wishes

Sorry for being so late in updating but I had an accident and I still cant move my stiff neck and back, cant walk properly and the wonderful climax is that this is third time I am having a car accident in five months…. And I am still alive

Anyway I read all the JR mangas while I was sick apart for preparing for my exam in March. So I am going to extend this story further before it ends

There can be grammatical errors as I am not well mentally or physically so please point it out or ignore. I am having a hard time to write as too many ideas are popping out at a time and choosing the best is the hardest thing for me. And due to a problem, all the files in my pc were deleted so I had to rewrite everything

Yeah my life is just f**ked up

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**Silent Wishes**

I was confused. I was never an introvert rather I was always pointed out as a direct and cheerfully assertive person. And asking my doubts about anything to Hirosan had never been an issue for me. Till then, I had exulted myself on the fact that I was well capable of making Hirosan happy, give him as much love as I could. I knew it was not a mere wish, it was true, I loved Hirosan and my dream of having him all to myself and he loving me back was not an illusion. It came true and from the blossoming affection of Hirosan it was crystal clear to me that he loved me.

Then why was he crying? And even if he was crying why wasn't he telling me anything?

Was it something that was not supposed to be revealed to me? Or was it something that would make me angry? Did he take Senpai's action too seriously? If that was the case then he should had talked to me which he didn't. Hirosan was a sensitive person but he would never cry for someone who didn't mean special to him. And Senpai was not in Hirosan's good books. After being admitted to the hospital, nothing tragic happened or anyone troubling didn't appear too. So was it something that included me? Was it because I happened to see Hirosan and Senpai like that?

No never. I loved Hirosan too much and I knew from my heart Hirosan would never think that I was suspecting him of cheating me. That would be too childish and I would never make such an immature critique and prove myself a moron.

Deciding to give the matter some time, I thought to take another bouquet of flowers for Senpai along with the one for Hirosan's. Senpai was injured too and all the catastrophic turns of events had made his health worse, same as Hirosan's, though he was the one partly responsible. Hirosan and Senpai were still in the adjacent rooms so it would be unfair to gift to Hirosan only.

Walking towards the hospital, I tried to appear normal to everyone but the glimpses of Hiorsan's wonderful face contorted with tears in my mind didn't inspire my heart to smile back.

I needed to do what was the most important priority in my life.

I wanted to make Hirosan happy.

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_Hirosan I love you……_

_Nowaki. It was Nowaki's voice. _

_Hirosan.._

_A pair of warm and moist lips covered mine and soon I was drowned in a sea of tingling sensations. My mouth was being torn apart by the nifty tricks of Nowaki's tongue. His fingers were trailing over my chest and were occasionally playing with my nipples. His hot mouth went down and he started showering my neck and collarbones with wet kisses and light bites. _

_Hirosan I need you.._

_A warm finger entered me slowly and soon a second finger added. The mischievous and hot caverns of Nowaki's mouth engulfed my weeping manhood. The sudden suction on my cock sparked an intense heat in me that extended all through me. Every part of my body was pulsing with the thrill of the building climax in the pith of my stomach. _

_Without caring about anything I moaned out which stated vividly my aching need to coat Nowaki's mouth with my seeds._

Just when I was about to come, everything vanished. I was left with a view of white ceiling and an unsatisfied libido. What happened?

Wasn't I just about to make a mess of Nowaki's mouth and rescind the tightening of my bulging testicles?

After an incisive diagnosis, I assumed the most likely logical conclusion to all my confusions. Was I having a wet dream? To check my intuition I looked down and was left with a bruised dignity when I saw the sheet creating a tent over my nether region.

Nothing good happened ever since I was admitted there, but I was happy to find myself alone when I looked around.

But I knew someone would come soon and it would only add to my defeated pride if someone saw this distorted Hiroki tower build for the want of his boyfriend. So I decided to take things in my own hands. I got up and walked to the door and locked it.

The fact that at my late thirties I was turning into a teenager, triggering his adolescence and ejaculating dreaming about his wild fantasies, made me consider to jump from the window but I settled in my bed discarding the consequences of the humiliating but true phenomena.

I had not been masturbated much as Nowaki was always there to do what was needed so I sat for a while dumbfounded. But the tingling sensation at the base of my penis didn't allow pursuing my sedentary posture. So I did what was needed.

Pulling the pants down and taking my throbbing penis in my hand I started stroking urgently. A thought of just digging a hole in the floor and making an escape route to hell appeared in my mind but my wild instinct was too caught to find release. _I figured it would be better to follow the direction of my erection…………_

Sliding my other hand under my shirt, I started rubbing the protruding nub of my chest. I was already sensitized, so it didn't take long to rejuvenate the urgency of my climax. My hands quickened their movements on their own and the fingers squeezed my aroused and erect nipples hard. I knew I was close and to intensify it, I started to rub the tip of the bulging purple head of my penis with my thumb hastily.

Soon my body gave in and white semen spurted over my pants and sheets while my body jerked vigorously with the exquisite climax. I gave some time for my heartbeat to slow down and then decided to take a nap in the twilight of my afterglow.

But before I closed my eyes, I couldn't stop the thought of Nowaki being the one doing it to me. How I wished Nowaki to touch me…..

---

Reaching the hospital, I hurried to give Senpai and Hirosan the beautiful roses. I was determined to make Hirosan happy. No matter what, I would make him smile. I would love him more and more and make him say everything.

As Senpai's room was the first in the way I decided to visit him first.

'Good Morning Senpai'

He looked better and his face lightened when he saw me with the flowers.

'Good Morning, are those for me?'

'Yes, but this one is for Hirosan.'

Keeping the flowers on the table, I took a seat on the chair near him. Smiling broadly he looked at the flowers and touched on their velvety texture.

'So you are trying to impress Hiroki with the flowers now?'

Before I could answer him, a moan shocked and tramped my happy mood. Was it coming from Hirosan's room ? I looked at senpai and the stunned expression on his face conveyed that he heard it too.

Soon after, another moan was heard and this time I knew it was Hirosan's voice. Confusion took over me, I was baffled and clueless. Of course Hirosan could moan but why was he moaning in that tone in my absence?

I got up from my seat and stepped towards the wall and the deep and hurried breathing sounds were only crumbling my fading hopes and assuring my dangerous suspicions.

Was Hirosan with someone? Someone who was doing things to him which was only reserved for me?

The increasing shallow breathings, throaty gasps and the sound of skin slapping against skin made me realize that Hirosan was close, Hirosan was having an orgasm. But with whom?

I heard Senpai say something but I was too absorbed in my wavering risky thoughts.

I would not allow it, I would never let Hirosan to go away from me, I would never take someone touching Hirosan and make him feel like that. Whoever it was he would pay for touching my Hirosan. Determined with the urge to find out the truth I rushed with blazing fury to Hirosan's room

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'Follow the direction of your erection'- this is the best line I have ever come up with. You liked this chapter? Actually I first thought to make the plot different, it was like Miyagi catching Hiroki while he was immersed in his wet dream but changed it yesterday. Ok when I feel my neck and back is ok I will post the next chapter.

till then you can review to this poor girl.


	7. Twist of fate

Finally the winter is subsiding and I couldn't be happier. ^_^.

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**Twist of fate**

I was just in the smooth journey to immerse my dizzy mind and exhausted body into a momentary rest, but a voice perturbed everything.

'Hirosan'

Then, there was a harsh knock on the door and yet another call, much louder and clearer and I knew it was Nowaki. And the first question that haunted me was 'What should I do?' Clutching the blanket tightly with my fingers and shutting my eyes forcibly, I pretended to be asleep and unconscious like a log; though I was well aware Nowaki didn't have the power to see through the walls.

'HIROSAN OPEN IT'

The call was demanding, it was so fierce that within a second, all my lethargic physique vanished. I knew Nowaki was a determined person and when he was like this it was futile to resist, holding an umbrella against a thunder storm never helped rather it backfired.

But I had no problem with seeing Nowaki rather it would make me happy, but how was I supposed to walk and open the door wearing something which was pathetically stained with my half dried semen? Nowaki wasn't an amateur he was a doctor and above all he had an active sex life, so this huge symbol of immediate climax would not escape his sharp and experienced eyes. Then what was I supposed to answer? Even the mere thought of speaking the truth was enough to drive me insane and disappear into the black hole.

So I did what was safe.

'Nowaki I can't open it now.'

The moment the words slipped out of my lips, I regretted it. Yeah sure I couldn't open the door but why?

'But why Hirosan?'

How I wished I knew the answer but I was still thinking and was in a sinister process of activating my brain cells. But before I could come up with something lucid, Nowaki startled me.

'Hirosan, who is with you? I won't let anyone touch my Hirosan. OPEN IT HIROSAN.'

I was with whom? Was someone with me all that time while I casually jerked myself off? Did someone just enjoy a free porn display of the mature and adult professor Kamijou Hiroki? Panic struck me and I got up looking around the room like a hungry tiger.

In the process, I twisted my injured leg and screamed to my heart's content.

'HIROSAN I AM BREAKING IN'

Before I could do anything, Nowaki started banging the door. I knew it was a hospital and such a barbaric act from a doctor was good enough to ruin Nowaki's future. So discarding the thought of how much humiliation I would be subjected to, I shouted.

'NOWAKI STOP I AM OPENING IT'

The banging didn't stop right away but I heard a female and a male voice trying to calm Nowaki down. Taking the blanket and wrapping it around me to hide my source of embarrassment, I opened the door. I saw Nowaki and the anger in his eyes was burning, it was the same anger which I saw in his eyes the night he hit the professor.

But when our eyes met, I felt Nowaki's anger cooling down a bit and pushing me a little roughly into the room, he hugged me tightly. The gesture was shocking to me and I was expecting something else, something violent. I realized that time, it didn't matter how everything went wrong and worst, Nowaki would always wait to hold me like this in his warm embrace. His idealistic thoughts about love could change all my harmony to utter happiness. I had craved for this so long and the sudden rush of emotions flowing through me compelled me to return the hug.

But the moment didn't last long.

'Can you tell please tell what was the commotion about?'

An aged man interrupted our sweet bliss of reunion. He was wearing a doctor's apron so I guessed he was a doctor too, though the deep voice and the shining spectacles were making him look extremely serious. Letting go off me, Nowaki stepped beside me uneasily. I figured the noise attracted some attention. I was feeling sorry but more than that I was scared as I could see Nowaki's fists clenched tightly and he was trembling with rage. Still he spoke as softly as he was capable of.

'I am sorry, but I was worried about the patient.'

The man stepped forward and looked at us rather scanned us thoroughly, I was getting impatient and frustrated by his actions but for Nowaki's sake I kept silent and still.

' You are a doctor and this is a renowned hospital, do I need to remind you the basic rules which must be maintained in a hospital?'

I saw Nowaki bend down his head further but I didn't know if it was from shame or from something else.

'I am sorry, I was just very worried. I didn't mean to create any disturbance.'

'Apologizing is not going to -

I couldn't stand it anymore, Nowaki had suffered enough for me and I would not be able to forgive myself if Nowaki would get humiliated for my stubborn and selfish act.

'Doctor, I was not opening the door and also not responding, so Nowaki got scared, it wasn't his fault.'

He narrowed his eyes and looked at me and just as he was about to say something, a voice came from the other room.

'Sensei, Nowaki is speaking the truth, the patient wasn't responding for a long time and the door was locked too, Nowaki was very worried, he only was thinking of the patient's state. Please don't make a fuss about it.'

It was Senpai and for once I was glad that he helped in something. The doctor stood there for sometime and left. Two nurses were standing at the spot and from their faces I figured they were pretty scared.

No sooner the place was empty; Nowaki marched into my room and started searching the room. I was puzzled so I followed him and asked him.

'Nowaki what are you doing?'

But he didn't hear my voice as he was in the bathroom. After he came out, he face wore a mask of confusion. His eyes looked troubled but when he saw the bed sheets, all disarrayed and painted with traces of my semen, his eyes widened and looking down I realised the protective blanket had abandoned me and was doing a unnecssary duty of shielding my toes. The haphazard embroidery created by my seeds on the front of my pants was revealed to the entire world.

'Hirosan were you masturbating?'

I knew he was very experienced and my soothsaying of getting caught did come true. For the first in my life, a nightmare came true. But I didn't have any other choice that to tell the true as if I said the semen didn't belong to me then either it would be a stupid lie or it would give rise to greater complications. So, without caring how much heat is creeping into my cheeks, I looked down and mumbled a positive 'yes'.

Nowaki stepped closer and lifted my chin with his fingers with a purpose of looking into my eyes which I obviously didn't anticipate. The slight touch of his skin on me made my nerve endings tingle with an arousing sensation. I knew he was very close to me as I could feel his hot breath on my face and the heat of his warm body creeping into my skin. Even though I just orgasmed, I knew Nowaki's touch was enough to make me come again.

'Hirosan did you miss me that much?'

Why was he so direct? It had been many years but I still wasn't accustomed to his naïve straightforwardness and candid attitude. I realized expressing the true feelings was very difficult, especially when the person was right infront of you, and looking at you with such piercing gaze.

'Hirosan, tell me.'

His voice was barely audible, like a feathery whisper, an open tease to my weakening senses. His hands were slowly pulling me towards him by my waist. The closer we moved the deeper our breathings grew.

'Hirosan I love you.'

Nowaki whispered to me and hugged my lithe body hungrily, cradling my head with his warms hands. Just like Nowaki, always supporting, offering me an unwavering reserve of strength, and reading me like an open book even when I didn't reply him properly. Even when I was so weak and scared to lose my precious dignity, he didn't care for anything but only loved me. He stood by me even when his future was on the verge of destruction. But I ? I couldn't do anything, I couldn't do anything to make everything alright rather I was the fuel for spoiling everything.. Nowaki, the typhoon that swept me off my feet and made me fly high in the sky, the person that loved me so much.

But I made him cry, hurt him, made him insulted by others and still he loved me unconditionally. Nowaki's love towards me was like sweet nectar of a flower, but because of me that nectar had fermented into a poison, the poison which was toxic enough to strangulate him.

But I couldn't let Nowaki go, I was so selfish. I was so very self-centered. Nowaki I really love you.

Before I realized it, I started crying and startled Nowaki with my rapid sobbing.

'Hirosan, why are you crying now?'

Shit. I wished I could control these annoying tears, the last thing I wanted to do was to create any more misunderstandings.

'Hirosan, what is it? Tell me.'

'Nowaki, I love you, I love so much Nowaki.'

He eyes widened and then trembled with sparkling joy. He was so happy. But was that happiness true? How could he be so happy when I knew my love was nothing compared to his love towards me.

'Hirosan I love you too, I love you too much.'

He spoke, showering my face with wet and countless kisses. He squeezed me tighter against him. But it was unfair.

'Nowaki, I don't deserve you, you should leave me.'

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Flashing news: Be kind like Nowaki people and donate my story with a review. As I found out that only 0.01% of the people who read my story review, ( I calculated from the hits and all that)

Anyway I am setting a new poll about the 'Best odd pair of JR' and believe me it will be odd like Hiroki/Haruhiko, Miyagi/Akihiko, Isaka/Nowaki… so on and after tomorrow, go to my profile and vote.

In the previous poll, Junjou Romantica series 2 won. Tadah. I am happy that so many people voted, and there was only a difference of 10 votes.


	8. Selfish

At last I could work on this story its been so long….. I have a stupid excuse of exams…

Any way I want to extend this story so if you got bored I am sorry.

**SELFISH**

'Nowaki, I don't deserve you, you should leave me.'

The kisses worshiping my face ceased and Nowaki's hold on me loosened. Was there anything left to lose when someone had lost the quintessence of his life? The fact that I had accepted that Nowaki shouldn't be mine anymore and I was incapable of his love was making me fearless. Nothing was there for me to be scared of when I knew I had lost Nowaki…..

I had felt the pain of not getting the person I love. I had been tormented with a stabbing pain whenever I used to see Akihiko longing for somebody else but that was different as I knew from the start that I was a failure, it was a chase where I was always a loser. It was like running in a circle as I could never reach my desire to be love by him.

But with Nowaki I knew I am the winner and I always will be and that was the very reason I was a failure. As I knew half hearted caring was worse than not caring. A love that gave you false hope and happiness creating an illusion of colorful world that could break any moment was never better than pure hatred. And a love with an unworthy lover who though promising roses could only offer garlands of thorns was even more pathetic. Yeah I was pathetic.

'Why Hiro-san?'

Nowaki was trembling and his eyes were dripping with tears. I wondered if it was the same pain when I knew Akihiko loved someone else. How I wished to kiss every single tears and tell him to stay with me. But I wouldn't be selfish anymore. I wanted Nowaki to be happy and I didn't care if I had to cry all my entire life for that. Nowaki deserved something shinning like the Sun rather than a flickering light which could burn out any moment.

'Because I am not the right person for you.'

A mixture of confusion and sorrow clouded Nowaki's expression. I knew if that went on I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears, I would break down. I loved him and I wouldn't be able to bear the pain of losing a person whom I loved so much for the second time. I was a loser who could never win love, a rogue, a disaster to the person I love. I knew my tears would allure Nowaki's attention and he wouldn't be able to depart.

Lowering my eyes, I choked back my tears when I felt Nowaki's hand withdrawing from my waist. Nowaki was going to leave me and it was all my fault. I never wanted our love to end and I guessed it was too much for me to want from my miserable fate to at least say farewell to Nowaki when he was not crying and he was at least with someone who could make him happy. Nowaki was going to walk away from me and soon after he would love someone else, someone better would be in his arms loving him and taking care of him. I couldn't happier. How I wished to be the one who could make Nowaki smile, love him, touch him and be by his side forever.

I couldn't take it anymore and my legs gave in. I crumbled on the floor sobbing and praying for Nowaki to go away. I didn't want Nowaki to see me all weak and lost, crying like a little child for losing his very precious possession.

'If you want me to leave, then why are you crying?'

I was surprised by the stern voice and strong comment of Nowaki. I looked up and saw that the mourning face of Nowaki was replaced by an angry look. Nowaki's eyes were so very intense that I was sure they were looking right into my heart.

I was speechless. He was asking me the reason for my tears. Didn't he know how much I love him? how much I want to be with him? or was it that I never said anything to him about how much he meant to me and why was he reacting like that? Why was he not supporting me like always? Nowaki never rebuked me; he always had obeyed me, supported me, loved me not caring what I said or did. So why ? why was he like that?

Was it because I never did anything to express my feelings that I harbored for him? I was always the one receiving all the love from Nowaki.

'Hiro-san how can I make you understand that I cant live without you, you were the one I love and if you ever leave me I will not be able to move on.'

I stared wide eyes at Nowaki. I was paralyzed by his gaze; even breathing was becoming difficult for me. How could Nowaki say those words so easily?

Nowaki stepped towards me slowly and with his every step I felt better, how nice it could feel when you could see your love walking to you with endless love in his eyes. Sitting on his knees, Nowaki cupped my face in his hands and rubbed his fingers on my cheeks.

'Hiro-san, everything I am doing they are all for you, I am trying so hard to be someone who will be strong enough to protect you, to provide you every single happiness and if you leave me I will be lost. Hiro-san I love you and I want you to love me back.'

'Nowaki I… I'

I was happy so very happy to hear those words from him. I was relieved to be reassured by him that I was the one, the one who should be with him. I was the one whom he loved. I loved him and I wanted to say it loud, I wanted to make him know that I loved him and he was everything to me.

'But instead Hiro-san told me to leave. Why? Is my love not enough? If Hiro-san was not the right person for me then who is? If Hiro-san was not the right person then IS MY LOVE FUTILE?'

Nowaki screamed out, his face was shrouded with tears and misery. His eyes were red and he was hiccuping vigorously. I had never seen Nowaki like that, he was all broken and lost. A person so strong like Nowaki could be so weak and miserable was still unbelievable to me.

Placing his hands on my shoulders and gripping them tightly Nowaki cried so hard that his head bowed down and his warm and fresh tears drenched my pants. I sat like an idiot, not knowing the right thing to do, not knowing how to handle the situation.

How did all this happen? When did we become so very lonely even though there wasn't a single day we didn't see each other? When did we become so aloof and distant form each other that every time we were together we only hurt ourselves? Where did all our trust and understanding vanish? And when did we become so weak and _selfish………….._

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	9. Rescue

I don't know if the people who are reading liked the last chapter as I didn't get any response but I think positive most of the time so I am assuming it was ok and going ahead with the next.

**Rescue **

If something disappeared, did that mean nothing existed in the first place? After I lost Akihiko, Nowaki was there to heal me and offer me what I had always sought , he loved me, but I had selfishly assumed that Nowaki would be mine always, even when there was any indication of a split in our strong bond Nowaki had always assured me that it was just a delusion. But that time it was the opposite.

It was my turn to rescue Nowaki from the toxic vines of insecurity and misunderstanding strangulating his pure heart. I had always taken high pride for being a composed and dignified adult but I realized that very pride was making me weak, turning me into a selfish giant who was not allowing Nowaki to trespass into my heart.

It was true that we were both being selfish; we were both wanting from and waiting for another to revive the slipping love which we cherished so much. But it was unfair for me to always be the receiver. All the time I had been brooding and crying for being an unworthy person but when I saw Nowaki crouching like just me, I was confused. I was bowled over as I didn't know where did we go wrong, when did our love become so weak….

'I don't know Nowaki.'

I didn't dare to look at Nowaki as I knew he was probably crying just like me and I never wanted him to cry. But I felt him turn stiff.

'How long do you intend to display this melancholic drama of tragedy?'

A sarcastic yet firm voice startled me and I looked at the source of it. Senpai was standing at the door with his crutches under his arms accompanied by a young nurse.

I knew he was a very troubling and straightforward guy but I never thought he could be so harsh with his mocking. Blood rushed to my head at his intrusion.

First a bewildering feeling of losing Nowaki and then a mortifying humiliation from someone like Senpai were making me furious.

So I protested back at him.

'None of your fucking business.'

'It is my business as it is a hospital not a personal bedroom.'

'Senpai what are you saying? That's enough.'

Before I could open my mouth and say something to the bastard Nowaki got up and interrupted.

'Nowaki you are a responsible doctor and I will not let someone just ruin the healthy reputation you have earned working so hard.'

'DON'T CROSS YOUR LIMIT'

I shouted at him for his foul mouth and open insult.

Glancing at me he ordered the nurse to close the door and leave. The girl was already scared and she quickly did what was told to her.

Walking towards me and looking straight into my eyes, Senpai spoke to me in a very serious tone.

'I had no intention in stepping into a lover's spat, but Nowaki is precious to me and I couldn't remain calm when I heard him get insulted by his superior for your childish and selfish act and then get him rumored as a doctor who treats his patients as sex toys.'

I listened to Senpai and was baffled to know the consequences of my actions. I had never wanted to cause any harm to anyone, I had always wanted to help people inspite of being an aloof and arrogant person, I had never caused any trouble to the people for whom I cared. Then how could I ruin Nowaki, how could I harm someone whom I loved so much? I had been thinking that I was only obstructing Nowaki from moving ahead but the notion of harming or ruining Nowaki never occured to me.

'Senpai I love Hiro-san how could you say something like that?'

I looked at Nowaki, he was angry. His chest was heaving with every sharp intake of breath and from his clenched fists; I knew that he was trying hard to restrain himself from hurting Senpai.

'That's what you know and who wouldn't suspect something like that when you carry out your make up session with the door open after such a chaos?'

'I don't care what people think, Hiro-san is sick and sad and I will do any thing to make him happy again. Hiro-san can never cause me any trouble, he is an incredible person.'

I stared at Nowaki wide eyed, I felt guilty for assuming so many wrong things about him. I thought he was selfish and weak but he wasn't any of them. I realized the only thing that mattered to him was my happiness. I realized nothing had changed, nothing had grown weak, it was the same love, it was the same person and it was only me who was creating all the hazards. It was me who was making Nowaki suffer for my selfishness, insecurity and mistrust.

But still how did I become like that? What made me think so?

'Incredible? Correct me if I am wrong Nowaki but didn't it all started because Hiroki couldn't suppress his libido?'

How dare he say that? Before I knew what I was doing, my boiling fury took over my logic and I hurled a punch towards Senpai's face at full force. If Nowaki didn't stop me in time, I would had killed the scoundrel.

Nowaki was hugging me from behind and the moment his skin connected with mine, I felt it was burning. Was he having a fever? I remembered the time when he told me that staying up for many nights makes him feverish. Or was he angry?

But before I could ask him, he spoke through his gritted teeth glaring at Senpai.

'Correct me if I am wrong Senpai as I think it all started because Hiro-san helped you with a benevolent heart when you were injured and instead of which you harassed him and tried to make him look like a cheater to me. It all started because you like an insensible person made Hiro-san feel guilty and made such a nasty joke that hurt Hiro-san. IT WAS YOU WHO MADE HIRO-SAN CRY AND IT WAS YOU FOR WHOM HIRO-SAN DOUBTED ME AND IT WAS YOU WHO DARED TO TOUCH MY HIRO-SAN'

Nowaki barked at Senpai clutching me tightly to his chest like he was afraid to lose me. I understood that I had been wrong right from the beginning. I expected too much from Nowaki, somewhere I forgot that Nowaki was also a human being like me and like he said his entire world was only concerning me.

He was worried to see me sick, he was unhappy to see me cry, he was jealous to see me like that with Senpai and he was broken to see me lost and weak. Nowaki had never been ahead of me as he was just waiting for me to lead his life, he was following me all the time and every time I stopped he stood by my side to support me, to protect me and to motivate me. Nowaki was a simple person and the little simple things in our life made him happy. He was not a great person who deserved someone better, he was a very good person who loved me with his everything and the source of his every emotion was me. He was a person to whom I was the most important; I was the one who was the epitome of his life and without me he would be nothing.

An immense sense of joy washed over me and my love for Nowaki glowed with a triumph for my rescue from the darkness in which I was lost. Without caring for anything, I lifted my hand to take hold of Nowaki's chin and pulled him down for a kiss.

I wanted to pour all my love into it so I licked his lips hungrily and then entering his mouth, I sucked on his tongue. Nowaki was surprised for a while at my sudden burst of emotions but soon he matched the rhythm and kissed me back with the same intensity and urgency.

We kissed till I felt I needed to breathe and while I grasped for some air Nowaki kept licking my lips dripping my chin wet with our saliva. His hold on me tightened and the heat between us increased when our bodies rubbed against one another on their own accord.

'Hiro-san I love you, please don't leave me.'

'I love you too Nowaki, I am not going to leave you.'

I whispered smiling a little forgetting all my ego and sorrow. Nowaki's eyes sparkled mischievously and a hallowed drizzle of happiness and relief drenched his face. It was so nice to be loved by the person whom you loved the most, it was like heaven, it was like a flower blossoming by the touch of the golden and warm sunshine after a cold rain…

'And what about me?'

We both glared at Senpai when he opened his mouth and our eyes burnt with anger when we saw him smirking.

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I really don't like to make Senpai a bad guy. Next chapter will be the last and it will include lemon. It will be from Nowaki's POV.

Was that too angst?


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